Picture it: early Spring, New York City. You’re ambling down the Hudson Promenade, knocking back Crackerjacks as you indulge your adoring fans with autographs and celebrity selfies snapped at awkward angles by their mobi-controlled flycams. Listen to the giggles of the co-eds as you wink at them. And what’s this? A passing supermodel, licking her luscious lips suggestively, has slipped her number into your front pant pocket! And lo, one of the nubile young Neighborhood Protectors, provocatively costumed as a mermaid roller-derbyist, begin to flirt. Oh, the salacious promises she makes! Will you fulfill her steamiest fantasies or cast her aside because of her outrageous New York accent? The choice is yours, stud, and all thanks to your slick new t-shirt.
Now you can own the same “Ask Me About My Secret Identity” tee as sported by Amp, the sonic sultan himself, in the pages of Copper Knights and Granite Men! Let everyone know that you’re a superhero without the burden of gauche and wedgie-prone spandex. Made of comfortable 100% cotton and featuring the Ascension Epoch logo on the back, everyone will want to know your secret identity. Will you tell them? That’s up to you, hotshot.
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